


the sound of silence

by fortunedays



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, adena's pov, did someone say angsty kadena?, things you said prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 22:56:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20199547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortunedays/pseuds/fortunedays
Summary: It’s such a shame, Adena thinks, lamenting the emptiness in her heart and by her side. Such a shame that even now, back in Paris, she feels no further from Kat than she did before.It is not a good feeling.





	the sound of silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wenjoyspark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wenjoyspark/gifts).

> things you said #15 - things you said with too many miles between us. requested by my lovely friend sof!
> 
> also please note that i haven’t watched tbt since 2x02 so i genuinely have zero percent of a clue what’s happening currently.

When she asks herself, weeks later, why she packed up and left New York, Adena tells herself that she’s always been better at running away.

It’s not a lie, not really. Her past is haunted with abandoned paths and routes not taken. She’d rather break her own heart than have someone else do it for her. So no, it’s not a lie.

It’s not the truth, either.

—

Kat Edison makes Adena feel electrified. From that first day in her studio, Kat has been a spark that Adena’s heart won’t put out. She loves the thrill of Kat’s affections, loves the way she feels so alive when Kat only has eyes for her. 

She’s so caught up in the rush that when Kat whispers that she loves her, her voice soft and shy, Adena stops dead.

But for the first time in her life, Adena stays. And, days later, when she’s ready, she mumbles her own promise across Kat’s lips, and Kat swallows it whole.

—

Adena loves Paris until she experiences Paris after Kat. 

It’s not the distance that gets to her. There had been plenty of that already.

Instead, she sees what they could’ve had, and aches for it.

—

_ Could you try a long distance relationship?  _ Jane asks her, in a text sent hours after Adena knows she should be asleep. She wonders if Kat had prompted this question, before deciding she doesn’t want to know.

She contemplates telling Jane that they’d already done the long distance thing and it hadn’t worked. Long distance as in oceans away in the same bed. Lips and hands and bodies touching and yet Kat had never felt so far away.

It’s such a shame, Adena thinks, lamenting the emptiness in her heart and by her side. Such a shame that even now, back in Paris, she feels no further from Kat than she did before.

It is not a good feeling.

In the end, she leaves Jane on read. She thinks that’s enough of an answer anyway.

—

During their last night together, Adena had held Kat to her chest, tracing infinities onto her back like a promise she meant to keep. Somewhere, they both knew that the relationship was eating them alive. They both knew that they weren’t going to stop it either.

Kat’s breath had danced across Adena’s skin when she asked, “What are you thinking right now?”

The answers had come full force and not at all, flooding Adena with everything she felt and nothing she would say. She reached for Kat’s hand and encased it in her own, and across the chasm found the one true thing.

“I do not think there is a force in this world that could make me stop loving you, Kat. And I am terrified of it.”

The silence that greeted her was deafening and still.

When Adena left, the morning gray and unmoving, she left her words behind. An exchange, of sorts, for her heart.

—

Adena has stopped looking for Kat’s name on every notification when Kat finally messages her.

It’s been weeks. Probably months. Adena stopped counting after Jane and Sutton stopped texting. It hurt too much to think about what - and who - she’d left behind.

She ignores the text until she gets home, until she’s sure that if she breaks down completely that no one will see her. 

It’s longer than she expected. No  _hi_ , no  _I miss you_ , no  _I’m sorry_ .

_I found out that there are 3627 miles between us right now, give or take a few. I thought that would be enough to move on. But I guess you were right._

Adena stares at the screen, eyes unblinking and full of tears, watching Kat’s bubble reappear, thinking.

_Do you still mean it?_

And Adena sits there, phone heavy in her hand, and thinks of the tear-filled nights, the ache in her chest, the yearning to be anywhere other than where she is. She, too, has counted the distance. Compared it to how far away she felt from Kat before, and felt the same. And yet she’s still been waitingfor this. An olive branch. A step closer.

With shaking hands, she tells Kat the truth:  _Every word._

It feels like an eternity. But when Kat’s bubble returns, Adena exhales so hard she almost laughs.

They talk until the sun illuminates Adena’s curtains. They stay away from anything heavy, but for the first time in months, it feels real. 

When Adena puts down her phone, having sent Kat to bed, and relishes in the warmth of a new morning, she basks in the joy of that one step.

They have a long way to go, she knows. But for the first time in her life, Adena wants to come home.


End file.
